There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
April 20, 2007 By: almostgotit Category: writing, humor, success, employment, courage, fear, joblessSomeone gave me an interesting employment suggestion today, and I must confess I had a bit of what I now call “a Target Moment” Target is, of course, a cleaner, more uptown version of Walmart. It’s the place where you always find everything you sort-of-need plus 54% more (it’s amazing, what happens to your bright red shopping cart in that place). It’s also the place I’ve ended up more than once when I had a vague feeling I badly needed SOMETHING, and hoped Target would help me figure out what that was. (Target’s marketing strategy is based heavily on existential crises, I think.)
Once, though, I’d not changed out of my gardening clothes before dashing off for something I sort-of-needed at Target. I drove into the crowded parking lot and suddenly froze inside of my car. Everything had gone all surface-y and intimidating. All those people striding so purposely to and from their cars (87% of them SUV’s), efficiently bundling children and bulging bags of things back and forth. Wearing all their clean, soccer mom outfits. Everyone seemed to know exactly who they were, what they wanted, and what the plan was, in general. What had any of this to do with me? I wondered, a little stricken.
Tada! A Target Moment.
Everyone has her own little issues. I doubt this one is at all unusual, even. The other night, at a little supper club I belong to, our host for the evening admitted that when we first started our club, she’d been very worried about what to wear to it. She didn’t know us very well then, and we were only 14% real to each other at that point, so her head made up all sorts of intimidating stories about us. But on this night, we wore anything from jeans to the formal outfit one of us had worn earlier to her daughter’s prom party. None of us gave 2% of a rip, either.
Target Moments are what we have when we forget that everyone else is the same as us, scared to death much of the time and desperately wanting to be loved. Remembering this is even better than thinking of the audience sitting in their underwear. Generally speaking, no one really has it together any more than we do, and we’re all just bumbling along best we can. This includes 100% of those well-dressed, efficient-looking EMPLOYED people, including those who might possibly consider hiring us.
A relative of mine who is a successful physician, while still in school, formulated the “Shmuck Theorem,” which I find very helpful when a Target Moment sneaks up and threatens to derail me from being my most successful self. It’s very simple: “If the other schmucks can do it, so can I.” Amen to that, baby!
April 20th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Now this is a good post. You are entirely correct, most of us only look like we know what we are doing, let along wanting to do it. You may enjoy workcoach.wordpress.com; not my site, although I do admire the author’s posts.
April 20th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Hah! Went to Target just today and filled my red cart with all sorts of things with stuff I didn’t know I needed! Well at least 93% of the cart was full of those sorts of things. Didn’t even end up buying what we had gone there for! Thank you for the definition of “Target moment.” I went there so that my son would have those cute little shoes on his feet that cost a fortune (but Target has a knock - off type). He is usually the only kid in the nursery with bare feet as he doesn’t have these MUST-HAVES - he doesn’t seem to care one way or the other though!
April 20th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Amen to your cousin’s theorem and then some! Love your post. Lord knows we’ve all been there - pretty much daily for me. And thanks for the visit to my own blog. You gave me the opposite of a Target Moment - you offered me assurance that, not only are we all lost, but we also all have something of value to share that may actually connect if we just keep putting it out there. Big thanks!
By the way…I just recently told someone that job hunting is like sales - each “no” brings us closer to a “YES”. We just have to believe in the product - and also be willing to repackage it a bit to fit the market. I’ve had lots of jobs that wouldn’t have even entered my mind until the idea found me. And believe me…I had a Target moment with each one. Good luck with the employment suggestion! Please let me know how it works out.
April 23rd, 2007 at 1:51 am
Brilliant!
April 14th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
The sad thing is that your observation is right on. I experience this all the time. I see ‘perfect’ people with ‘perfect’ lives and wonder why can’t I have that ignorance and that comfort in life? Instead, for those of us that observe, we see the complexities and the sub-currents that flow largely unseen by the majority. We wonder how we all stay on the surface of the earth as the rotational surface speed exceeds 1,000 mph. We feel guilty and think twice before we toss a bottle of milk because it expired yesterday — knowing a child thousands of miles away (and even next door) would consider it a gift from God. Things are not as rosey as they seem. Things are far more serious and far more wonderful.