Cannibals
July 08, 2007 By: almostgotit Category: humor, feminism, jokes, exploitation
Photo by by mrlerone (Creative Commons)
Okay, I’ve got one:
Recently, a large university hired several cannibals in an effort to increase its diversity.
“You are all part of our team now,” the Human Resources officer gushed during their orientation briefing. “You get full benefits, including a meal card, and you are welcome to go to any of the campus cafeterias for something to eat: but please don’t eat any employees.”
The cannibals solemnly promised they would not.
Four weeks later, the dean called all the cannibals into his office.
“You’re all working very hard and are doing a tremendous job. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole university’s performance. However, um… one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?” The cannibals all shook their heads, “No.”
After they left the dean’s office, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others. “Okay — which one of you idiots ate the secretary?”
A hand rose, hesitantly.
“You fool!” the leader bellowed. “For four weeks we’ve been eating administrators, even the odd faculty member or two, and no one noticed a damned thing. Wasn’t that good enough for you?
But NOOOooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something around here!”
July 9th, 2007 at 5:05 am
This is hilarious! Love your blog.
July 9th, 2007 at 6:11 am
Wise One likes the picture, A LOT. And I’m going to tell this story to everyone I see today.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Interesting.
In Canada, Cannibals could apply for funding under the aegis of Heritage Canada. We’re always ready to embrace different folkways without passing judgment.
One of the early explorers of the Toronto region, Etienne Brule, was eaten by the Huron after he had his way with a few too many Huron maidens.
To all aspiring Lotharios out there — think twice before your wooing. You just might become an entree.
July 9th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
@ Ann: Thanks so much! I visited your beautiful blog too. The photography is just stunning! Does it take you days and days, just to post them all?
@Truevyne: I’m glad he liked it. I really did, too!!
@ Duckworth (may I be so familiar?):
Remember what I said about how you should start your own blog? Scratch that. Please use all of your creative energies instead just like this, by posting on mine…