Good news: laxative sales are up
October 21, 2008 By: almostgotit Category: America, Uncategorized, consumerism, gift ideas, humor, laxatives, slanket
Many thanks to my readers for sending me the latest financial news.
Apparently busy, employed, successful people buy a lot of deodorant, while the stress of an economic downturn sends folks back to the drug store for their constipation.
Who knew? (thanks, Marsquat.)
While laxative sales are going up, thermostats are going down, which is why you should buy each of your friends and relatives a slanket this Christmas. They’re so cool they’re hot! (hat tip Shane.)
Don’t you worry, either, about buying more laxatives and slankets in this economy. This is still America, where buying stuff is good.
In fact, you should buy lots and lots of new clothes and shoes, and feel downright virtuous about it, because now all your castaways can be made into backbacks and basketball courts. Along with other really necessary stuff, like gym totes, that Target can sell to you all over again.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I’ve never heard of the slanket until now, but it looks so comfy. I almost fell asleep thinking about snuggling up in it. Only problem is…my dog favors soft, fuzzy things. Just last night I caught him destroying *another* pillow. Grr.
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:39 am
It’s the Circle of Consumption!
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Linda M. LOVES her slanket, claims she lives in it all winter, even while fixing dinner. Pete and Kimra like theirs, too, but it’s more crucial in Ohio than San Francisco.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Adds new meaning to the word “bailout”. Laxative sales, I mean. I’m still working on “slanket”.
October 28th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Curious… things that make you go hmmm…