Almostgotit.com

Dear Assistant Dean of Fun Stuff,

Thank you so very much for meeting with me last week and introducing me to a few of your partners in crime. What a great group. While we won’t be coming to Utah after all (TITSNOB actually pulled out a decent counter offer for my dh– the rats) I wanted to let you know how exciting it was to get a glimpse of the many possibilities for *me* that are there. I wish you every success and fully expect to see your campus innovations written up in The Chronicle very soon.

With all good wishes,

Almostgotit
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Almostgotit – it was so fun to meet you, even briefly. And I’m so sorry you won’t be coming here; we were all beginning to get excited about the possibilities, both for the XX Center and for other efforts on campus we could drag you into

Very best of luck there at TITSNOB!

Assistant Dean of Fun Stuff

Dear Unit Supervisor at TITSNOB with the crappy job on offer,

Thank you for your kind email.  Yes, I would very much appreciate a meeting with you about the job in your unit that I have no intention of taking, and if you could get TITSNOB Hiring  Big Cheese in the room too as you’ve suggested, that would be grand. I’d be willing to come by at your convenience, including this afternoon if you are still available.

Gratefully,

Almostgotit

Dear TITSNOB Hiring Big Cheese,

Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with Unit Supervisor and me today.  It was a pleasure to finally meet you after you’ve already rejected so many of my applications.

Your attention input was very helpful, and I especially appreciated your flattery frankness.  I agree with you that the particular vacancy we were discussing would be a total travesty probably isn’t a good fit for me right now, and appreciate your offer to consider me for future TITSNOB positions that may be much better jobs more suitable.   If I get a sex-change operation, will you marry me?!?!  Attached is another copy of my resume: I’m also grateful for your offer to circulate it.

Thanking you again,

Almostgotit