Almostgotit.com

When interviewing with a bunch of folk who make their living looking people up on the internet, it’s a good idea to remember that they’ll probably look you up on the internet, too.

And discover that you’ve been blogging about them.

Not the most kosher career move on my part, perhaps, but I have been giggling about it ever since, anyway.  

It was my own online people-tracking skills that enabled me to catch them at it, too, so we’ve sort of got a “Spy V Spy” scenario going on here.  And Damn, We’re Good!

What a pleasant set of interviews I had this morning, with some very good people who do very important work.

And boy, do I not want that job.

I left those gentle souls today feeling too big and loud for the rooms we were in, which is pretty amazing considering I’m barely 5’3” and mostly an introvert, besides. Wow.

At one point I was introduced to someone I’d be working with, and the supervisor all but shushed me when I said “Hello, there!”

Using my OUTSIDE voice, apparently.

Once I caught on to the fact that the job was all about being smaller, I started playing the game where you give the right answers that make the person nod approvingly and write things down. “I like being concise,” I said, then giving an example of how concise I could be.

Yes, yes, the woman nodded, writing “concise” on her notes.

She was a shy person, and had carefully typed her list of interview questions ahead of time, with 2 inches of white space between each to write things in.   “Nugget,” she wrote, nodding. “Summary.”

Under “Are you an Extrovert or an  Introvert?”  she noted  “Introvert, with surprises.”  (I quite liked that one!)

This is a research job as opposed to a clerical job, and much better paid as well. But while I was hoping it might be a way to get in the job door for future things, it seems I’d be sitting in a basement cubicle embedded in a labyrinth of offices carved out of what used to be the “bargain basement” of a vast (and long-defunct) department store. Where I’d hardly ever see anyone else at all, let alone any natural light.

Where I’d spend 8 hours a day looking stuff up on computers and whispering a lot.

I called my husband from the parking lot afterwards, and told him that I hoped he wouldn’t tell me I wasn’t trying hard enough if I actually was offered this job and then  said “no” to it.

I also told him I was going to go home now and look up some information on my computer about getting another degree.

It’s been a stressful couple of weeks, and we now have proof that there are no functioning brain cells left in our house.

Exhibit A:

My cell phone, for some reason, failed to notify me of a voicemail message I received in response to my recent application for a nice job.  “Please call back,” someone asked,  sometime in the last two weeks.  Moreover, I had submitted a version of my resume with that application bearing a defunct email address on it.

Two weeks.  S.H.I.T.  — but what are you going to do? 

When I finally discovered the message on my phone Sunday morning, I immediately sent an email AND left a phone message, e.g., my apologies & please know I’m still interested in the position.

 ((if you haven’t written me off already as the total twit I obviously am))

Basic Competence: what a damnably elusive beast. 

Exhibit B:

My husband is in charge of a unit that is having a ”mid-cycle review” beginning today, and so my husband made an additional effort to look respectable this morning (e.g., he shaved!) 

Unfortunately?  He also discovered he’d forgotten to pick up the external reviewer at the airport yesterday evening. 

That’s bad.  That’s really, REALLY bad.  That’s like rear-ending your judge’s car, right before your trial.

It would serve both of us right to never work again.  And if you want to glean any appropriate career lessons from this post, you should stop reading RIGHT NOW.

I sucked it up and called the organization back first thing this morning, ready to be told to go to hell. 

I was offered a job interview later this week, instead.

And my husband?  He apologized to the external reviewer, who fortunately is also a friend, and the reviewer readily forgave him.  In fact, the man had been feeling a little incompetent himself as he’d forgotten to recharge his cell phone before the flight.  Believing his dead phone had cost him making a successful connection at the airport, he hadn’t waited long before hailing a taxi and getting himself to the hotel. 

Later tonight, they’re going out together.  My husband is buying the beer. 

Please don’t make career mistakes like these. 

Ever. 

But if  But when you do screw up?  Suck it up, get back in there, and go for the save.  You were an idiot, and if the stakes are this high, you need to admit it.  Can’t stand the idea of looking even more incompetent than you already are?  The model here is not that of a snivelling, defensive groveller, but that of a mensch.  Stand up and face your enormous mistake like a mensch.  You may go down in flames, but do it anyway.   

The world doesn’t need more perfect people, but it definitely needs more menschlichkeit.

Plus also, you may just pull a rabbit out of the hat, after all.

Any wisdom to add or rebuttals to record, dear readers? 

Thank you for the Birthday Haiku, Rufus!  Birthdays are great when you are old and no longer have any expectations about birthdays at all, one way or the other.  So the doorbell rang this morning and it was a total revelation to see a strange person standing on the porch there wearing a bandana over her face and carrying a lit birthday candle.  It was a Birthday Breakfast Kidnapping (With Pitbull), of course.  Plus also my mother called all the way from Washington State, so apparently I’m forgiven for not telling her about the whole job thing.  My son has no idea it’s my birthday, but someone will tell him as someone always does.  My husband knows it’s my birthday but he has meetings all day (and has a guy he needs to take out for a beer this evening!!) so we’re rescheduling our celebration for next weekend.  Good enough for me!