Clearing the record
June 05, 2009 By: almostgotit Category: humor, unemploymentAs my two readers know perfectly well, Almostgotit tends to get a little worked up about things.
Nor does it help that Dante, one of my weird medievalist friends, has been spreading heinous rumors about me: namely, that I stole a fossil from a certain riverbed full of them, despite there being some sort of giant sign saying people shouldn’t.
As if it would even be wrong to pocket the tiniest little disintegrating fossil that already had broken loose from the massive 200 ACRES of them and was therefore in imminent danger of being ground to dust under someone’s careless foot.
Nevertheless, no unemployed person in her right mind would ever allow the slightest crime of this sort to blemish her record. Certainly I would never, and Dante’s claims are a total fabrication and utter rot, of course.
Dante, however, is the sort who might even call it “stealing” if one were simply to borrow his phrase “Chigger Woode” at some time in the very near future.
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June 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Let’s not call it “stealing” … let’s call it “relocating”!
June 5th, 2009 at 11:11 am
In the not-so-distant past, experts used to collect fossils with the help of pickaxes and identify songbirds with the help of beebee guns. Shrug.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Hmm….reminds me of the rocks I took from the Petrified Forest which I shouldn’t have. I relocated them to the window sill in my kitchen.
Also my brother took a small pebble from Robbin Island when he visited South Africa a couple years ago. I think he relocated that to a shelf in his music room.
At least you did not “relocate” gum from the 5 and 10 when you were a child. Or did you? Is this a pattern?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I might have relocated a grape from a grocery store once when I was six or so. I’ve been wracked with guilt ever since…