Susan Boyle & Celebrity Exhaustion Syndrome
June 07, 2009 By: almostgotit Category: Celebrity Exhaustion Syndrome, Susan Boyle, Uncategorized, humor
Thankfully, Susan Boyle seems to be recovering following her recent hospitalization for exhaustion.
Celebrity watchers remain deeply concerned about her, however, because of her new susceptibility to celebrity-born diseases.
Susan Boyle’s condition is known as Celebrity Exhaustion Syndrome (CES). While some medical experts question the validity of CES, most now agree that CES is a growing problem. The World Health Organization (WHO) recently announced that CES has now reached a phase 5 on the pandemic alert scale.
After doing extensive research on the subject myself, I found this informative educational video about CES that non-celebrities may find helpful.
While CES previously has been considered a disease only infecting the Famous, Susan Boyle is a clear example that it may cross over to the general population at any time. Fortunately, Celebrity Exhaustion Syndrome may be avoided by taking a few simple precautions:
- Do not appear in concert or on television. Ever.
- Avoid excessive success, following Almostgotit’s example instead.
- If possible, carry a small animal with you at all times. Paris Hilton developed an extreme resistance to CES by taking this very simple measure.
Remember: while the rest of us may suffer from ordinary depression, drug addiction, or psychotic episodes, Celebrity Exhaustion is far more serious.*
Sufferers from CES often require costly treatment at highly-specialized clinics located in the Malibu area.
Because of her recent shopping spree, however, Susan Boyle may not be able to afford such care.
Almostgotit is asking for your help. Following the example of such humanitarians as Whitney, Bobby and Angelina, please give to the Celebrity Exhaustion Fund today, and please give generously.
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* Important Note: Celebrity Exhaustion Syndrome, though far more serious than any ailment suffered by a non-celebrity, still carries no stigma whatsoever.
June 8th, 2009 at 12:16 am
The educational video you posted was QUITE helpful. If (when) I forget to put on my underwear, I will take note that this is a symptom of something far more serious.
June 8th, 2009 at 5:59 am
Susan Boyle is the same age as both E.g. and me (well okay, me once September rolls by). As someone who can find it exhausting to look at Help Wanted ads or phone for an optometrist’s appointment, I admire her courage and stamina — and that sweater set she bought looks fabulous on her!
Re the small animal: It works! As E.g. sez, we’ll never suffer carpal tunnel reaching for stars if we’re always scanning the ground for poopies.
June 8th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Please, for the love of heaven, won’t SOMEONE think of the celebrities?
June 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
@ Marsquat: I’m glad I was able to participate in your educative process. Yes, do please be extra aware of the underwear thing.
@Waterjay: I’m very glad to hear that, while you admire Susan Boyle (as do I), you have taken appropriate precautions so as not also to afflicted with CES. You are to be commended!
@Dennis: I find your great compassion to be most gratifying. Thank you for voicing it for us.
June 15th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
I enjoyed this piece very much and just sent a check for $500 to the fund. Thanks for alerting us all to the problem. I hope my contribution helps!
June 15th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Thank you from the heart, David. I’m afraid my own continued interest in Ms. Boyle has contributed to her CES, as it’s just been reported that she’s had a relapse.
If, therefore, you could see your way to sending an additional $500, I would be deeply grateful.