What Would Captain Kirk Do?
June 18, 2009 By: almostgotit Category: Rocky top, Trigger Happy, Uncategorized, Vols, cell phone etiquette, cell phones, humor, videos
Click image at left to see video. Worth it, I promise.
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I was waiting for my son today in a small, crowded waiting room.
Several people’s cell phones went off while I was there, team fight songs and choruses of The Who playing loudly for the rest of us to enjoy.
GOOD!! OLE!!! ROCKY TOP!! sang an orange purse, as an older woman in an embroidered denim outfit fumbled to answer it.
The man who kept forgetting his paperwork at the window spoke softly into his RAZR about the weather and his love for the caller. His beloved, however, had such a resonant bass voice that I’m sure he sings opera.
The lady in the denim outfit worked out some details for a dinner party before hanging up.
Finally, just as I was settling into the latest news about Brangelina, a blonde woman in a bright pink sweater answered her phone.
“HELLO? YES? YES, I LEFT HIM A MESSAGE! HA HA HA!”
I pointedly put down my magazine and glared at her, but she didn’t notice.
“WHAT? I LEFT HIM A MESSAGE. HA HA HA!! ARE YOU A SCORPIO?
Yes, as it happens, I *am* a Scorpio.
“I’ll TALK TO HIM. I LEFT HIM A MESSAGE. I KNOW!!! HA HA HA!”
The scorpion leaned forward. “Excuse me. Could you please take that into the hall?”
She glared at me. ”“Are you going to come and GET me if they call my name?”
“No,” I said, suddenly abashed that an insensitive person would actually continue to be insensitive. “Maybe, um, you should call them back later?”
My face felt hot. Clearly she wasn’t going to budge. Everyone else in the waiting room was pointedly looking at their own magazines and feet. My last chance. “It’s just… really loud.”
How lame.
But who did I think I was, Captain Kirk? Capable of changing an entire civilization with a single speech? The woman continued her conversation just long enough afterwards to make the point that I didn’t have one. A point, I mean.
However, when her phone rang again a few minutes later, she quietly turned it off, pointedly looking at her own magazine.
June 18th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Now, now, you know that it’s Good OLE Rocky Top, not OLD.
That small error aside, I know so what you mean. I do not understand why all these conversations are so important that they cannot wait. They used to wait. And in that room, and that time, you were Captain Kirk.
Hooray!
June 18th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
She’ll be less likely to do it again, so you have sacrificed for others’ good.
In other news, MY phone went off when I was watching UP at the theater last night. Red face.
June 18th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
@Pages: oops, you’re right! What was I thinking! Correction made as noted, and thank you.
@Kathy: it happens to all of us eventually. What matters is whether or not you then sat there TAKING THE CALL, HA HA HA!!
June 18th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Almostgotit: I don’t know what Capt Kirk would do, but Lt Ohura would decipher the call from a far distance and be able to beam those people out of there without skipping a beat.
June 18th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
I think you’d make an excellent Capt. Kirk. You have the guts to speak up for yourself! What a woman.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:47 am
@ Radioholiday: technicallly I think she’d need Scotty’s help, but it’s a delicious idea anyway. If only I *was* that much in charge of the world.
@truevyne: Problem is, I really *don’t* have the guts. Sigh. Can we get someone else to help me be in charge of the world?
June 19th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Captain Kirk would have ended up making out with her. Because, you know, he’s Captain Kirk.
June 19th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Eww. Hadn’t thought of that. Busy guy, that Captain Kirk.
June 20th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Good good stuff. Love writing that hits humanity at its finest on the nail’s head….especially with the Rocky Top reference…it’s like it could have happened to me. I’m sure it has actually.
The Rocky Top ring tone cracks me up…how many people in Knoxville think that they are so original?
Loved the video too…again…a touch of truth makes everything so entertaining.
June 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
P.S. I never would have told the lady to take it out…I know it’s weird, but I love eavesdropping, and cell phones have made it so easy… the worst part is that you can’t hear the other side of the call and so many times you have to fill in the details of a good story.
June 20th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Speak softly but carry a big stick…
Now, if you remember your Star Trek, you will recall that Captain Kirk DID in fact confront someone on a 1980’s bus in San Francisco about a loud boom-box. The person turned it UP in response to his inquiry. It took Spock and his neck pinch to put the offender down, much to the delight of fellow bus riders.
June 21st, 2009 at 7:40 am
Having not the slightest idea what a rocky top is, I youtubed it. Can the Osborne Brothers ever play! Bet the cell phone ring doesn’t capture the essence of that banjo, though.