Dave’s Klezmer Band & Sperm Bank
January 12, 2010 By: almostgotit Category: humor
- David Perkins standing in his non-ampitheater. Knoxville News-Sentinel photo
“Hello! Dave’s Klezmer Band and Sperm Bank. Can I help you?”
That’s exactly how I plan to answer the phone just as soon as my Knoxville neighbor, David Perkins, hires me as receptionist for his unique new set of business ventures.
While Mr. Perkins insists he will not be using his suburban house as a performance venue, and that the massive thing behind him with benches is simply a PLANTER, his Myspace page describes “Dave’s Place” as
A lovely home setting with performance spaces both indoors and outdoors. Theater seating around the grounds for up to 300 guests viewing four separate shows. Beautiful views and ample space to stroll..
Plus, of course, he’ll have the Jewish sperm bank, so hundreds of lucky people can, um, watch the shows and enjoy the views, or even have kids who look just like Dave!
What more can I say?
You can’t make up stuff as good as this. So I guess I’ll simply close with a few of Dave’s own happy images, accompaned by his Klezmer music.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:41 am
What’s he going to plant in that thing? One of those giant trees from “Avatar”?
January 14th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Oi vay! More like Dave? Sheesh! His non-ampitheater is sorta cool though. What sort of performances will there be? Mating dances?
January 15th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Hello Fans, So nice of you to appreciate my creativity and potential. Lots of types of trees on the place, I like to juggle, play bamboo flute, sit and watch the sunrise and read my mail, feed the birds. If you may be interested in becoming my wife, I invite you to be in contact.
January 15th, 2010 at 9:54 am
[...] comment submitted today from someone who, by all appearances, does appear to be my neighbor David Perkins: Hello Fans, So nice of you to appreciate my creativity and potential. Lots of types of trees on [...]
January 15th, 2010 at 10:08 am
WOW.
February 20th, 2010 at 11:09 am
[...] think he should consider opening a sperm bank, as [...]