“Hello! Dave’s Klezmer Band and Sperm Bank. Can I help you?”
That’s exactly how I plan to answer the phone just as soon as my Knoxville neighbor, David Perkins, hires me as receptionist for his unique new set of business ventures.
While Mr. Perkins insists he will not be using his suburban house as a performance venue, and that the massive thing behind him with benches is simply a PLANTER, his Myspace page describes “Dave’s Place” as
A lovely home setting with performance spaces both indoors and outdoors. Theater seating around the grounds for up to 300 guests viewing four separate shows. Beautiful views and ample space to stroll..
Plus, of course, he’ll have the Jewish sperm bank, so hundreds of lucky people can, um, watch the shows and enjoy the views, or even have kids who look just like Dave!
What more can I say?
You can’t make up stuff as good as this. So I guess I’ll simply close with a few of Dave’s own happy images, accompaned by his Klezmer music.