No, we haven’t decided yet.

We’re back, and we’re a mess. But while the decision of whether or not to relocate for a job may seem impossibly complicated, it’s really not.

Therefore, I’m putting the exhausted, emotional -wreck -of -an -Almostgotit in a chair and giving her a giant margarita: we’ll get back to her later.

While our guts may be working overtime as they churn through the many intangibles, there are some basic numbers we need to crunch first. Numbers are our friends. They give us the power we need to finish our negotiations. 

Gathering information also is a straight-forward, centering process that cools our heads and distracts our stomaches.  So we’ve got out our pads of paper and started our lists:

1. Cost of living differentials
Our money is only as good as what it will buy, and a salary’s buying power varies enormously depending on where one lives. Therefore, the very first thing we did with our job offer from the new location was to plug our current income into a “cost of living” calculator to see how the two numbers compare in real money.

Fortunately this was fast and easy to do online.

• Bankrate.com’s cost of living calculator takes into consideration “dozens of items in six broad categories — groceries, housing, utilities, transportation, health care and miscellaneous goods and services. It does not include the effects of state and local taxes.“ 
• CNNMoney.com’s salary comparison calculator  compiles data using key expenses in area of housing, utilities, transportation and health care costs.  This calculator also displayed a helpful chart comparing major costs in the two cities, showing us (for instance) that we should expect to pay 30% more for a similar house in the new city. While CNNMoney did not explicitly mention taxes, the calculation was so similar to Bankrate.com’s that I assume CNN also left out any tax consideration.
• Salary.com’s Cost of Living Wizard produced the narrowest gap between our two numbers, and also had the option of adding additional cities to the equation if one’s residence will be in a different city than one’s place of work. 

The next step, of course, is to refine these generic numbers according to our more particular circumstances.

2. Costs to the “trailing spouse”
Most families make relocation decisions based on the career of the family’s highest wage-earner, but there is usually a second wage-earner whose income (or lack thereof) needs to be calculated as well. Can the family finances manage if the “trailing spouse” (e.g., me) doesn’t find a job right away? How much weight should the “trailing spouse” numbers carry? 

While in the past my husband’s income has always been the deciding factor, in this case we actually have a viable financial choice for him either way: therefore, we’ve decided to put my own employment prospects near the top of our list this time.

3. Taxes
We pay an astronomical sales tax on everything in Tennessee, including food, but we have no state income tax. If it hadn’t been for a chance remark by one of our interviewers, I may have forgotten to check – but yes, the new state has an income tax. This got me on the right track, and I got out last year’s 1040 and plugged some of those numbers into an online tax calculator for our new location, remembering that many taxes can be partially deducted from federal taxes.

Don’t forget property taxes, annual motor vehicle taxes, etc – again, these vary widely, and usually can be found online.

4. Family-unique financials
We need to further adjust our relocation costs up or down depending on our particular financial circumstances.

This is the time to think of the permanent and long-term costs of a move, rather than the one-time costs of house-hunting or renting a moving truck, which are likely to be reimbursed.

In our case, we have several years’s worth of free winter heat stacked in our current back yard and expect that arrangement to continue indefinitely, a utility cost savings that will be hard to beat anywhere else. Our son currently qualifies for in-state university tuition, which we’ve been able to determine would continue; however, the additional faculty tuition discount he receives would not. We live where we only need one car, and face either the additional cost for a second vehicle or the (possible) additional cost of living in a similarly-convenience neighborhood in the new location.

Other families may have relatives who help care for their children, reducing the need to for expensive daycare. How many years do you have left on your current mortgage, what’s your current rate, and how much home equity do you currently have to invest in a new home? How would your commuting costs increase, or decrease? Would you have to drive your child to school in the new location, or pay private tuition? How much more, or less, would you need to spend on visits to extended family members? These are the sorts of things that should go on any “relocation financials”  list.

Numbers put a floor, ceiling, and walls on this enormous decision, and hopefullywill give that margarita-chugging gal and her companion the traction they’ll need to finish the job.

Any wisdom to add, readers?

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Additional relocation resources

Comprehensive List of Margarita Recipes:  Don’t even look at the low-calorie one.

Relocation Decision: Very helpful summary of the financials involved in a job relocation

Relocation Decision Wizard: Though aimed at retirees, this site has a number of helpful worksheets that guide rating communities, dealing with worries, making an action plan, etc.

It’s amazing.  They even sent me my very own itinerary.

Of course, the intersection of blogging and the real world is rather complicated here — we are still in the midst of negotiations, and I’m not entirely sure who reads this blog.  It’s not that it’s some big national secret, but more a set of decisions that my husband and I need the privacy and space, just now,  to negotiate on our own, e.g.:

• Could we bring our woodstove?  So much better than slankets.
• Do they sell self-cleaning houses there?  I want one of those.
• Can they send all my friends their own itineraries, too?
• My 12-year-old daughter has presented us with extensive documentation that this land-locked state has tsunamis, plus also hordes of murderers and plagues of locusts.  Can these allegations be confirmed?

Anyway, I’ll be gone from Blogville for the next few days, and hopefully our family won’t require too many more laxatives.