My First Pair. 12-year-old helped me pick them out. I don’t actually need them for reading yet, but just to see very tiny things at very close range: like microscopic splinters, and tiny registration codes on computer towers which you have to climb under tables and hang upside-down to see in the first place.
Are they not badass and bodacious?
Please don’t laugh. I’m sure it’s just another human developmental stage that got lost somewhere between Benjamin Spock and Gail Sheehy.
“De-Nesting” manifests as a strange sort of ache that only feels better if the afflicted parent performs certain ritualistic behaviors.
It started with the chemistry text books, which I needed to take back to the old high school. Identical twins, the second one acquired after the first disappeared in the bedroom rubble, both of them now freshly-escavated as we sort our way through the 18 year history of This Boy Now Leaving Home.
I went on to the department store: a zippered mattress cover, of course… who knows where that college mattress has been? A nice soft mattress cover to go on top of that, so he’ll be nice and cozy. And since there was a sale, a bunch of towels too, all matching so he’ll know which are his. Not DARK blue, because maybe the roommate’s mother already chose dark blue. A sort of masculine teal, then. And a shower caddy too, of course, also in blue. No, too matchy — better to pick white. No, black - definitely black. Also another pair of cargo shorts, because even though he said he doesn’t need any more, he probably isn’t thinking about the laundry issue. A pillow cover. A cute lamp.
I had to stop by the grocery store on my way home, so thought I may as well pick up a couple of things for him there, too. Just two or three things to get him started, because he will have to learn how to do his own shopping very soon, and spend his own money too. So I just grabbed the basics: shampoo, soap, toothpaste. Then decided to double all of those. Deodorant too. Well, and vitamins and chapstick and a new toothbrush, and disposable flossers… I decided he’ll floss more, if I got him flossers. Laundry detergent, and dish soap while I was at it. Some chlorine bathroom cleaner, because four boys (sorry!) men can get pretty grotty. I wondered if I should get them a toilet brush, too?
Sunscreen. Oh, and bug spray, in case they want to go hiking on the spur of the moment. Envelopes, so he’ll write to his grandparents. And since I was already in the aisle: push pins, gluestick, ink pens, pencils, a pencil sharpener to go with the pencils. Notebook paper, though maybe that’s too juvenile? Made sure it was college-ruled. Scotch tape, and a stapler for good measure. Kleenex.
I got home in time to take my daughter to a promised trip to Goodwill, where I continued to add to my supply of de-nesting materials. Four microwave-safe plates — four, because I may as well him get the whole set, and he can use it when friends come over. Or even take them to his first apartment — which thought made my stomach hurt. A matching mug. A wonderfully huge stoneware bowl that would survive a nuclear blast. If they ever have those at college, I mean. ANOTHER very cute lamp, which his sister will happily take if he doesn’t want it.
Did I tell you already that he’s moving in early? Only two days away. I’m not ready, I’m not READY. I mean, he’s not ready. I think we need to sit down together and make a really long list, and then I need to bake him some cookies.
Image created by Almostgotit’s 12-yr-old daughter, who thinks her mother is acting like an idiot.
Nine days. That’s how much longer we have as a family of four sharing the same house. I’m not ready.
I still haven’t made him that giant flannel bulletin board I was planning, the one on which he could arrange little felt roads and cars and houses and trains to his heart’s content. I still have a couple of toddler-sized overalls in my mending basket too (because, who ever actually MENDS, anyway?)
And what about that cross-country train trip we wanted to do at some point? We totally forgot to do that! Never made it to Disney World, either. I guess I’m not too broken up about Disney World, but Universal Studios might have been fun.
Bear-bear is still wearing the pajamas I made him, though, and they still look new. They should, as they were part of the matching set of pajamas I made for both of them just last Christmas, when my son was seven.
This summer we’ve managed to teach him how to make a bank deposit, at least, and last year he finally learned how to do laundry. Sometimes he even remembers to close the front door after he’s used it, too.
And today, he’s gone in to vote in the county elections. They let seven year olds do that now?
I guess I don’t know very much about anything, any more.
I had a good lunch today with a bunch of martial arts and marketing people, with whom I have remarkably little in common. Our state has just legalized a certain activity, and these people are poised to get in on the ground floor and make some money out of it. I have no idea why they invited me along, except that I know a couple of them and we like each other. Nor did I really have anything to contribute to the animated conversation, except to cheer them on.
You know that comic, “Rose is Rose,” in which the mother, Rose, has a punked-out alter-ego named Vicki who wears a leather mini and rides a motorbike? Who craves rattle-snake chili and sports a tattoo?
That was me today. Vicki the Biker Chick.
Karen over at Working Girl had another good post about networking this week, and gives some really good advice, including this: anyone can network, anywhere. She also makes the very good point that job-hunting should be fun. Well, she actually makes that point in today’s post, but it’s true. Job searching is damn hard work, and it’s very easy to become bitter, grim, and warlike about it.
The problem is that most employers aren’t really looking for bitter, grim, and warlike people.
Even more importantly, that isn’t any way to live, period. After all, life is what happens when you’re waiting around for the next thing to happen. Life is what happens while you’re still looking for a job.
Get out there and network. Not because it’s good for your job prospects (though it is) but because it’s good for you. So put down those sad old cupcakes , gas up that Harley, and go out and get yourself some fun!
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Related Posts:
The Wall Street Journal’s online Career Journal has continued its series of articles called “90 days,” presumably based on Michael Watkins’ bestseller, The First 90 Days: Critical Success Strategies for New Leaders at All Levels. Each WSJ column addresses the most critical things to remember in the first days following a major career transition.
There’s lots of terrific cross-pollination here, so if you’re in transition, go ahead and read them all!
~ For more WSJ “90 Days” articles ~
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Related Post:
My friend Peggy, aka the Career Encourager, has asked me to choose which of the following I would use to describe myself:
1 – I am a Working Mother
2 – I am a Woman with Children and a Career
3 – Other
Hmm. How would you answer that, readers?
The way I define myself keeps changing, is the problem. I’m going to be out of the mother business soon enough and never quite made it to feeling like a “Working Mother,” so I think the first option is out.
The second option,”I am a woman with children and a career” is a little better in that I was a “woman” before I was a mother, but it seems a little out of reach as well. I might, someday, get to call myself ”a woman with children and a job,” and then a few more years after that, I’d really like to retain the ”a woman with a job” part, too. But a “Woman with Children and Career?” “Careers” sound like such permanent and uninterupted things, things people have expressly gone to school to prepare for when they were young, worked away at for a three or so further decades, and then eventually retire from. Can the majority of mothers even do this? **Having a Career** sounds so intense and single-minded. While “intense” certainly fits me, what mother is ever free to be single-minded as well?
What I am is chronically multi-minded instead. And every one of my many minds is subject to sudden and unpredictable change as my children and my life and I all go lurching along together.
Which seems to leave only the last option: “other.” I’d probably have chosen that option anyway, being the obnoxious iconoclast that I am, but in this case I think it really is the only one that fits. In the end I think I choose “I am a woman:” or maybe, ”I (just) am,” period.
How about you?
Creative commons Child’s Drawing Photo by an0nym0usmus & Giraffe Photo by Timothy K. Hamilton (see great comment by Timothy, below!)
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Related Posts: Woman vs. rabbit hole: are we giving up too much?
Hanging in, and blonder, too
Trying it on for size: permanent 9-5 expat?
Here’s to starting over again, beginning a second career chapter, and trying things a new way!
My mother often made Italian biscotti for Christmas. Traditionally made with nuts, anise flavoring, and very little fat, they have a long shelf life – as do many job skills! And like many a woman’s career, biscotti is baked in two stages. This version makes an old favorite into something wonderfully new by using pistachios and dried cranberries! Try serving these with coffee (or red wine!) for dunking…
Preheat oven to 300 degrees, and prepare a cookie sheet by lining it with parchment paper. Beat oil and sugar together. Add eggs one at a time, beating thoroughly after each. Add vanilla and almond extracts. Mix dry ingredients together, then gradually add to egg mixture while stirring. Fold in cranberries and pistachio nuts by hand. Wet hands with cool water and use them to shape dough into two 12×2 inch logs on the prepared cookie sheet. Bake for 35 minutes until light brown.
Remove pan to cooling racks for 10 minutes, meanwhile turning oven down to 275 degrees. Cut logs into ¾ inch thick slices on the diagonal, and lay slices cut-side-down on the parchment-lined cookie sheet. Bake slices 8-10 more minutes until golden-brown and dry to the touch. Cool and store in air-tight container.
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Never tried biscotti, or no time for cooking? Order some from Peggy’s Biscotti – she’ll even let you try a couple for free! And don’t miss her wonderful COMMENT, below…
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The reason I’ve not been blogging is that, besides being in major house-rearranging frenzy, getting kids back into various school routines, and celebrating a 21st wedding anniversary (Yay, us!) I seem to have landed myself a job. I will be directing a non-profit “quality of life” organization with a large donor base and a history of visionary projects, several of which will come into fruition under my watch this coming year. It’s very exciting.
It’s also scary as heck. I know a little of what I’m in for, delving into the non-profit world, having worked for a large non-profit organization once before. Hours can be endless, results can be hard to measure, and working with a large number of volunteers and board members (who are also volunteers) is often like herding cats, or trying to stuff an octopus into a plastic grocery bag. One needs a fair tolerance for chaos, in other words!
Moreover, I’ve never supervised a paid staff before, let alone run a meeting using parliamentary procedure. What if I really do pick my nose? 
And, speaking of blogging, where do I go from here with this one? How to (almost) survive working for a non-profit? How to (almost) get your working groove back after staying home with children for several years?
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*COMING MONDAY* Recipe for Daring Do-over, Double-Baked Biscotti
Good news for “older employees:” According to MSN, there’s hope after all!
Apparently, there’s a huge job shortage looming just ahead as baby-boomers approach retirement, meaning that several industries will be particularly short-handed when it comes to the more experienced employees that they most want and need. Among the most promising of those industries are health care, business-to-business services, education, and services for the elderly.
What makes these particular jobs attractive to the seasoned employee is that they tend to be both lucrative and flexible; moreover, they call upon one’s existing expertise and experience, requiring at most only a minimal investment in school or retraining.
The key? Being open-minded. Also, just a little thing — we may have to wait until 2014.
