Genuine Rhodesian FridgeSnack, age 2 yrs. Excellent time management tool: esp. adept at waking family at Good-God-O’clock on freezing Feb. Monday mornings with loud vomiting sounds, forcing prompt action as well as hurried making of fires and coffee. 

Effective: collects & contains all fleas within 5 mile radius, 12 mos/yr, further assuring early am wakefulness as family has been kept alert all night due to great deal of loud scratching.

Helpful: Will clean out your litter boxes, sort through your garbage, and assist in controlling your caloric intake by stealing and eating the egg breakfast you didn’t need this morning, anyway. 

Efficient: once family is thoroughly activated at Good-God-O’Thirty, will then rest up for the rest of the day to better serve again the next morning.

My First Pair.  12-year-old helped me pick them out.  I don’t actually need them for reading yet, but just to see very tiny things at very close range: like microscopic splinters, and tiny registration codes on computer towers which you have to climb under tables and hang upside-down to see in the first place. 

Are they not badass and bodacious?

The neighbors have all received my newsletter, and there have been no death threats. A few probably have concluded I’m dangerous and should be left alone (hurray) while a few others have called me on the phone to say “bravo.”

One even brought me some flowers.

Almostgotit made great strides in sorting out some things in the attic, getting rid of several piles, and finally opening the stupid box for her stupid new computer and even putting the stupid thing all together (NB friend Betsy!!)

The rest of the family, feeling a little less ambitious, nonetheless also seemed to have a pleasantly relaxing couple of days.

The New College Student, too busy lately even to trim his own toenails apparently,  came home and spent virtually all of his time like this. 

The 12-yr-old  , whose official weekend chore is to clean the bathroom, found interesting things to do with the bathroom mirror instead .

Cat #1 helped make the beds in her own way.

The dog (a purebred Rhodesian FridgeSnack, FYI) carried his blanket around all weekend, finding many comfortable places to sleep as well.

And I did tell all y’all, did I not, that the adults have a lovely new mattress for weekend sleeping, as well? 

Life, in other words, is pretty good.