Have moved from cookies to olives. Really strong, salty ones, right out of the jar. How is it that I survived the first three decades of my life without liking olives?
However, I am even more grateful for friends. Some of whom I’ve not even met in person yet, but whose words, both public and private, (Thanks Ann, thanks Peggy) have been very helpful indeed. Nor will I entertain any silly idea that the ongoing weirdness of my (almost) life is a sign of terminal uniqueness, because I know it is not.
So. Millenial career guru Penelope Trunk insists that one of the keys to success is taking long lunch hours, and I agree with her.
For one thing, meeting for lunch doesn’t take nearly as long as meeting for golf, and I can’t play golf anyway. Sharing a meal is one of those sacramentally human things for which there is really no substitute. Call it “networking” in a career context if you want, but it’s so much more than that.
A friend asked to meet today and I happily said “yes.” We’ve both been so busy with our own lives and all they contain that we don’t see each other as much as we would like. Across the table, our eyes meet and we smile as we talk.
This is the good stuff.
She just finished her classes for the term, her first as a Ph.D candidate, (hurray!) Her life this summer will be filled with trips and beaches, dancing and driving lessons, and getting a child ready for a semester abroad. We laughed at how this mothering just keeps going on, no matter how long it’s been since we actually had these babies. At least we can identify, in advance, that summer will be hectic for us, a balancing act between the still-insatiable demands of our tall children and the need to carve out our own space in the midst of them, even as the tall folk inevitably object. Which, just as inevitably, will make us feel bad, and we’ll have to persevere through that as well.
It seems too early to call this stage a “mid-life” anything, nor are we empty-nesters just yet. So we’ve been calling this stage “Chapter Two.” The most demanding part of our childraising is over (except during vacations!) and we are coming up for air and to take a look around at what comes next. Several of us (my friend included) are looking at a life without the life-and-financial partner we’d assumed would live it with us. That’s more than a little rough.
Nor has the world waited for us. Often, weirdly, we’re less employable now than we were straight out of college, even though most of us have had several additional years of gainful employment since then.
Go figure.
But here is something Penelope Trunk doesn’t know, because she’s not been here. We’ve been around. We already know how to be counter-cultural. We’re tough, and we’ve still got lots of game.
Watch us.
And just for you, my friends: one of my very nice Cesar #2 Montesinos, by Tabacalera Fuente.
