Almostgotit.com

Photos by Almostgotit’s Daughter

He respects Owl, because you can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right.”
- A. A. Milne

There really isn’t much else to say about Tuesday, once a person knows how to spell it.

Okay, so there’s a mediocre restaurant called Ruby Tuesday and a mediocre actress called Tuesday Weld.  There’s also a rock band called  ”The Almost Famous Tuesdays.” 

See?  Why aren’t they The  Famous Tuesdays? 

Folks, I think they’re on to something.  Tuesday needs our help.

Fortunately, with the aid of an online poem generator, I was able to come up with some new Tuesday Literature that I really think may finally break the fame barrier.

WHERE IS THE LIVELY FISH?
LORD, DEATH!
FALL TRIPPINGLY LIKE A ROUGH TUESDAY. 

WOW, COURAGE!
O, DEATH!
WHERE IS THE SUNNY TUESDAY?

WHY DOES THE ICE CREAM ENDURE?
ROUGH, TICKLISH TUESDAYS CALMLY VIEW A COLD, MISTY SEASON. 

ALL ICE CREAMS FIGHT RAINY, TICKLISH TUESDAYS.
THE TUESDAY GROWS LIKE A LIVELY VOMIT. 

What do you think?

See you Monday. We’ll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse.” - Sean in Good Will Hunting (movie)

Your idea of bliss is to wake up on a Monday morning knowing you haven’t a single engagement for the entire week. You are cradled in a white paper cocoon tied up with typewriter ribbon.” - American Novelist Edna Ferber

(quotes from thinkexist.com)

It’s Monday again.

The house is empty, the coffee in the pot is fresh, and there’s a whole new slate of things to accomplish — or fail at.

How I do both love and hate Mondays:  another week ahead either to conquer or be conquered by.  

Thankfully, at this point, the chances are still 50/50, aren’t they? 

This is a portrait of our cat, Archie.  Isn’t he cute? 

And as you can see, his insides seem to be in perfect operational condition, which you wouldn’t know by all the vomiting he has been doing all over the house the last few days, just to annoy us apparently.

It’s not often that you get to see cat poop actually being FORMED (upper right), is it?  Well, now you have seen it for your own eyes, live right here on Almostgotit.com.

The real reason I am blogging about this $300 picture?  Because maybe now I can convince the IRS that it was a business expense. 

This made me happy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

(Hat tip to Gina)

So many opinions; so few places to put them.

This is a big problem, turns out. What will I do with all of them? I can’t write about them all day, and no one else much wants my opinions either, so here they sit, rotting like so much USDA agricultural surplus.

These are not standard grade opinions I’m talking about, either. These are genetically modified SUPER opinions.

I’m talking OPINIONOUSES MAXIMUSES.

I wonder if I could ship all my extra opinions to a foreign country that is suffering from a shortage of them, like Canada. Or maybe the government could sponsor efforts to find New Uses for Excess Opinions– I mean, it sure worked for soy beans.

Perhaps I should donate them to fishermen in Southeast Asia, who could put them to good use blast fishing?

Or maybe I’ll become a teacher.

The Economist recently featured an article about Teach First, an elite new training program in England that is modeled after Teach in America which was founded in 1989. The aim of both programs is to recruit highly-qualified new teachers who actually might make a difference in the deteriorating public (state) schools.

What Teach First seems to want most, however, is a fresh source of raw, unsullied opinions.

Teach First’s most important contribution, though, may be to shake up education research and policy. “New teachers bring fresh eyes to education,” says Mr Wigdortz. “Our chair of trustees, Dame Julia Cleverdon, often tells participants to keep a notebook and write down everything that strikes them as crazy in the first few months—because a year in, those things will seem normal. And two years in, when they have gained in experience and confidence, they should get that notebook out and start changing those things.

Hmm.  The side effects for this opinionectomy sound pretty severe.  No offense Dame Julia, but if the return on donating my fresh eyes is having crazy things seem normal, I may opt for Bali instead. 

After harvesting naught but a single mutant cucumber, the Almostgotits have decided to deed the entire northern half of their garden to Sweden.

My six year old niece was so glad to see the Almostgotits that she drew this family portrait.  Er, that’s me on the left. 

A bit of an exaggeration, but it is true that I am a wee bit shorter than some.  This picture provoked a certain amount of joking at a certain Southern Auntie’s expense, as well (”She’s got legs like a little chee-wawa’s, bless her heart!”) But look, at least I have amazing muscles! It’s SUPER AUNTIE!

I love my nieces and nephews, and to prove it, while some of elder ones constructed their first summer berry pie, Almostgotit made the portrait artist some play dough of her own. 

Cooked home-made playdough, for those In The Know, is far superior to any other kind.  The usual kind with flour, cream of tartar and oil is great, but we tried this one so there would be enough flour left for the pies. 

6 year old’s verdict?  It was…

The Best Ever Playdough Ever

• 1 cup baking soda
• 1/2 cup corn starch
• 3/4 cup water
• Food coloring (optional)

Measure the baking soda and corn starch into a small sauce pan.  Scrunch your fingers through it to break up the lumps (fun!)  Add water, and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly.  As soon as the mixture gathers together (just starts to look like mashed potatoes), remove from the heat and let cool a little.  Child can then knead it into a smooth playdough, then divide into portions if desired to knead in some food coloring.  Store playdough in ziplock bags.

Note: Don’t over cook this playdough or it will crumble when you use it.

Illustration by Almostgotit’s daughter

Almostgotit has been out to lunch.  She has been out to breakfast, dinner, and snacks too.  Lots and lots of snacks.  With lots and lots of relatives, all “sleeping and eating and breathing together” for many weeks in several, mostly-computer-free locations in the western parts of Washington State. 

Almostgotit neglected to bank any blog posts for her absence, too.  She was too tired and ready for a vacation to bank any blog posts. 

She’s back now, though, and ready to write really scintillating posts. Starting, um, tomorrow. 

Almostgotit’s friend Deb heard of Wubby II’s recent demise, and came by to deliver Wubby III.  Wasn’t that kind of her?

SURPRISE, JERRY!

Deb is pretty sure that mean old Mr. Gomez won’t come out and kill this Wubby.  Look how fierce this Wubby is! 

Deb did not know it, but she brought Wubby III over on Jerry’s birthday.  Jerry the Rhodesian Fridgesnack is now three years old.  And he LOVES his new Wubby!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JERRY!  

And THANK YOU, DEB!