Almostgotit.com

Photos by Almostgotit’s Daughter

My son was sent home early from work today.

“Spill it,” I ordered.

My son is a straight-A student – a peach in the humanities, working in a job calling more for the precise technical skills of a turnip.

Oh, you know what I mean.

My son would be the first to admit that he’s better at writing papers than following complicated procedures that change on a regular basis.

He’s a man of words working where much is assumed and few things are written down. He’s in a place where procedural initiative is not encouraged, but procedural questions are not encouraged either.

My son often finds it confusing.

It’s been a particularly stressful week. There’s a ton of work, the pressure is mounting, and everyone has been making mistakes. The supervisor has been upset with everyone – but especially with my son.

My son bitterly hates making mistakes, even though mistakes are part of the learning process.

My son’s supervisor, meanwhile, tells him mistakes are unacceptable, but often forgets that it is a supervisor’s job to provide enough training (and supervision) so that fewer mistakes are made.

Welcome to the real world, my son.

Ulysses Grant at Cold Harbor (from the National Archives)

Thing is: it’s a job, when many people don’t have one.

Moreover, this job is paying for my son’s college text books and other expenses. It’s not a great fit, and he won’t work there forever, but he needs to work there now.

Using his non-technical but super-charged brain therefore, my son decided to come up with some solid ideas tonight about how he can improve his performance, and plans to present them to his supervisor tomorrow. Chin held high.

Thatsa my boy!

RE the old photo at left: My son told me about it during our conversation today — noting also that my father has a copy of it hanging in his home office. It is a portrait of Ulysses S. Grant, taken during the Civil War Battle at Cold Harbor.

Cold Harbor was the lowest point of General Grant’s career. Thousands of Union soldiers lost their lives in a hopelessly lopsided battle against the Confederates.

It was a battle Grant regretted for the rest of his life.

Nevertheless, mistakes and all, Grant still outmaneuvered Robert E. Lee in the end and won the war. My son hopes to win this “career” thing in the end, too.

I think he will.

After harvesting naught but a single mutant cucumber, the Almostgotits have decided to deed the entire northern half of their garden to Sweden.

My six year old niece was so glad to see the Almostgotits that she drew this family portrait.  Er, that’s me on the left. 

A bit of an exaggeration, but it is true that I am a wee bit shorter than some.  This picture provoked a certain amount of joking at a certain Southern Auntie’s expense, as well (”She’s got legs like a little chee-wawa’s, bless her heart!”) But look, at least I have amazing muscles! It’s SUPER AUNTIE!

I love my nieces and nephews, and to prove it, while some of elder ones constructed their first summer berry pie, Almostgotit made the portrait artist some play dough of her own. 

Cooked home-made playdough, for those In The Know, is far superior to any other kind.  The usual kind with flour, cream of tartar and oil is great, but we tried this one so there would be enough flour left for the pies. 

6 year old’s verdict?  It was…

The Best Ever Playdough Ever

• 1 cup baking soda
• 1/2 cup corn starch
• 3/4 cup water
• Food coloring (optional)

Measure the baking soda and corn starch into a small sauce pan.  Scrunch your fingers through it to break up the lumps (fun!)  Add water, and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly.  As soon as the mixture gathers together (just starts to look like mashed potatoes), remove from the heat and let cool a little.  Child can then knead it into a smooth playdough, then divide into portions if desired to knead in some food coloring.  Store playdough in ziplock bags.

Note: Don’t over cook this playdough or it will crumble when you use it.

Illustration by Almostgotit’s daughter

Almostgotit has been out to lunch.  She has been out to breakfast, dinner, and snacks too.  Lots and lots of snacks.  With lots and lots of relatives, all “sleeping and eating and breathing together” for many weeks in several, mostly-computer-free locations in the western parts of Washington State. 

Almostgotit neglected to bank any blog posts for her absence, too.  She was too tired and ready for a vacation to bank any blog posts. 

She’s back now, though, and ready to write really scintillating posts. Starting, um, tomorrow. 

My 12-year-old daughter turned into a 13-year -old one a couple weeks ago. 

I’m not sure how I feel about this. 

Fortunately, 13-year-old girls seem to be as fun as 12-year-old ones are, which is reassuring.

She’s going to be famous someday, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter.  Well, maybe that is part of the reason I’m saying it, but Maddie Bradshaw is proof that even 13-year-olds can become company presidents.

Image: Maddie Bradshaw, m3 Girl Designs

Our Carolina wrens fledged in the garage this morning, and we spent the day dodging bumbling baby birds and their frantic parents.

It’s hard to take pictures of baby wrens… they are very small and would rather climb on things than pose for the camera.

It is ALSO hard to avoid Mom and Dad, who are small as well, but certainly have VERY BIG voices when they are dive-bombing invasive species such as myself.

The babies are about 3 inches long…

… and a little fuzzy still, too.

There are four of them.  Count the butts.

After a long day of flying, though, a bird gets hungry.  What to do? 

TELL MOM TO BRING PIZZA!

It’s absolutely true, and you can see the news report on video right here.

Next, before you do anything else, send this to all the moms you know — especially your own!

HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY

I LOVE THIS DEODORANT!

A contender for “one of the more creative ways to save money,” this stuff is basically a giant salt crystal.  To apply, you run it quickly under the faucet and roll it around on your arm pits.

Please tell me you did NOT just write “arm pits!”

The weird thing is, this stuff actually seems to WORK.  (if you want to read more about aluminum-free, non-allergenic deodorant while also listening to some really awesome elevator music, click here.)

MOM!!

Seriously, when I use this deodorant (which costs about the same as regular deodorant and lasts up to a year), there’s absolutely no odor at all.  Not even the flower-y (or SPRING FRESH) smell of deodorant itself.  An added bonus is that there’s no danger of turning your tee-shirt arm pits yellow with this stuff, either.

Oh. My. GOD.

That’s “Gosh,” honey.  And sweetie, here’s the thing:  Everyone Poops.

I KNOW THAT, Mom, but NOT YOU.  You’re not allowed!

——–

Related posts &  links:

Duck Chronicles II (slide show by my 12 year old)

How to embarrass a duck

EVERYONE POOPS

How to embarrass your kids in front of their friends

Want to embarrass your teen?  Pick her up in a car that looks like a hotdog.  (count your blessings, my dear.)

My twelve year old finds the most interesting internet sites. Over the weekend she found Sketch Star, and so of course I had to try it.

My daughter has her own version of my life, however. . .