Almostgotit.com

Sorry, too enthralled feeding the fire, eating leftovers, and fiddling with Facebook to do any actual blogging. 

The only problem with vacations is that you have to come back from them.  Behind-er than ever.

Feeling so very, very whiny, besides.

I hate it when seasons end, even if another one is starting.  (Plus also, so totally not fair that only a 12 year old can be 5′6″ and a size 2 at the same time)

Though our little part of Knoxville is not without its seasonal charms.  What the heck are boiled peanuts (or fried pork rinds, or moon pies, or okra generally) you might ask?  Take my advice: Remain In Ignorance on These Things, Grasshopper.

Who sez Tennessee is in the Boonies?

After all, it looks like it was one of our own who had the sophistication to hack into Sarah Palin’s email account.  Moreover, it’s looking more and more like the job was done by the son of one of our own rare but “Vile Democrat” Representatives, too.  Those people!

Not that it was hard.  The password reset feature on Palin’s webmail account apparently only required the hacker to answer some easy questions — e.g., what is your zip code and birthdate? — which only required a few minutes on Google to acquire. Webmail users, take warning.

On the lighter side.

A friend of mine sent me some delightfully Boony-ish news and said I could share it, though not with her name.  She lives out in the county, and wanted to update me on the status of the stray miniature goat she’d rescued a few years back.

Yes, really. Stray.  Miniature.  Goat.

The goat roamed around my friends’ property for several weeks as they looked for its owner to no avail.  Finally, after luring the feral creature towards them with some food, my friend and her husband were able to catch the mighty little beast.  The two then bundled the loudly-protesting creature into the family Lexus, voiding all warranties by so doing no doubt, and took her to a neighbor who’d offered to add her to his own small herd.

The news is that there are some new kids on the block.  Happily sharing quarters (and obviously other things as well) with her new herd, Nervous Nellie (aka Jumping Jane) has recently given birth to a pair of miniature goat twins.

If anyone is interested in the real names and locations of the parties involved in this little TAIL, they’ll have to hack into my webmail account, where they will also find several other juicy tidbits, including the name of the Japanese designer who made my fabulous contact lenses. 

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It was a good weekend chez Almostgotit.

The neighbors have all received my newsletter, and there have been no death threats. A few probably have concluded I’m dangerous and should be left alone (hurray) while a few others have called me on the phone to say “bravo.”

One even brought me some flowers.

Almostgotit made great strides in sorting out some things in the attic, getting rid of several piles, and finally opening the stupid box for her stupid new computer and even putting the stupid thing all together (NB friend Betsy!!)

The rest of the family, feeling a little less ambitious, nonetheless also seemed to have a pleasantly relaxing couple of days.

The New College Student, too busy lately even to trim his own toenails apparently,  came home and spent virtually all of his time like this. 

The 12-yr-old  , whose official weekend chore is to clean the bathroom, found interesting things to do with the bathroom mirror instead .

Cat #1 helped make the beds in her own way.

The dog (a purebred Rhodesian FridgeSnack, FYI) carried his blanket around all weekend, finding many comfortable places to sleep as well.

And I did tell all y’all, did I not, that the adults have a lovely new mattress for weekend sleeping, as well? 

Life, in other words, is pretty good. 

Earlier this week, I somehow stumbled upon a whole run of country-cottage type blogs,  each with a massive, chintz-filled header at top and packed with photos below.  

And, um, soundtracks.

All of these bloggers seem currently to be making their own magazine covers  which they post on their blogs, featuring luscious photos of wide verandas, sweet white wicker, quaint pink roses, and whatever else those blissful homemakers- without- mattresses- mouldering- in- their- back- yards can conjure up. 

I tracked down their online photo toy because I wanted to make a country magazine cover, too.  But I don’t seem to have the right photos. 

Okay. I mean I don’t seem to have the right life, in which those kinds of photos happen.

I did find this bucolic photo we took inside an old stone barn in a cottage farm in England — pretty darn quaint, I’d say — but something funny happened with the photo-cropping.   It seemed appropriate, though, so I just went with it.

I am really conflicted here. I would love to have a beautiful, giant farm house.  And those women’s photos (and magazine covers) were truly stunning.  But I happened to have my speakers turned on when I clicked on several of them, and — I’m so sorry — I giggled until the milk (almost) came out of my nose.

So I made another one, and I have to say, I think this piece communicates something that is so much more authentically *me*. What do you think?

Big Huge Labs has lots of other fun photo toys to play with, too, and you can be sure I’ll be using more of them in future posts.  Just don’t expect any chintz.

Cool Creative Commons Photos by Weeping Willow

To quote Kermit the Frog: It’s not easy being green.

Not all of us can commute by bicycle, plant a community garden, or volunteer to wash all of our colleagues’ dishes so they’ll stop using styrofoam. But here are a few of the easier ways to make your workspace more eco-friendly, and most of them will save you money as well.

1. Always turn off your monitor and computer when not in use. Don’t forget to turn off the printer, too! Some folks believe screen savers save energy: sadly, they do not. If you are in the market for a new computer, remember that laptops are more energy-efficient than desktops (they were designed that way, in order to conserve battery life).

2. Take the Stairs. I started doing this when I was twenty pounds heavier, and at first it was hard work. Sometimes I cheated. Finally, though, I decided to pretend that none of the elevators worked, ever. The hardest part? Walking with other people and having to stop mid-conversation so I could hike up the stairs and meet them at the top. Sometimes though, I WON! (Elevators often aren’t time savers. Nor are cars, when you have to search high and low for a place to park them, then walk between car and actual destination. These have been very interesting discoveries of mine…)

3. Think of ways to reduce your business meeting travel. Besides contributing to global warming, the use of gasoline and airplane fuel isn’t getting any cheaper. Travel is a time investment, as well, and your time has monetary value too. Therefore, many businesses (and independent consultants) are using more virtual world technologies instead of physical travel. The key is to choose the right tool. Email and instant messaging are great for simple questions; videoconferencing works well for more in-depth conversations. Technology will never completely replace face-to-face human interaction, but it’s a smart way to augment it.

4. Use less paper. Print on both sides. Send more mail electronically. Save scrap paper and use it to take notes. Reuse mailers and boxes, too – you can use mailing labels to add new addresses – and extra blank ones to neatly cover the old printing, if necessary.

5. Buy used. Craigslist and Freecycle are great places to find almost anything you need. Thrift stores (Goodwill, etc.) are great places, too – several of my favorite, designer-label business clothes (not to mention my umbrella, my computer case, and all the storage baskets in my office) were thrift-store finds.

6. Carry your own shopping bags. Reuse old ones, or keep a stash of canvas shopping bags in your car.

The key to being green? You don’t have to start big, just start! And I’d love to hear your ideas, too.

Here are some more online ideas on working greener:

Nature.org: Earthday

Treehugger.com: How to Green Your Work

MoreBusiness.Com: Running your Business

CoopAmerica.org: Buying Green

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Related Post:

11 ways to be cheap in honor of Earth Day

Change Is Hard Work; it requires hope, direction, bravery and time. -Thomas Moore

The sign at left is a standard one in Great Britain, and was one of our favorites.  While it merely means “adjusted right-of-way ahead,” I always had the strong sense that Stephen Covey was speaking to us directly from the heavens.  Other signs we loved were “Caution: Rising Bollards!” (which sounds like a variety of aggressive ostrich but in fact refers to adjustable traffic barriers) and various humorous — and at times salacious – notices about “zebra crossings” (which are crosswalks with painted lines.  Get it?) 

When we lived in England, we were frequently amazed and amused at how different our two languages were.  Pantyhose don’t “run” in Britain, they “ladder.”  Sinister-sounding ”schemes” merely refer to ”plans.”  Our children’s classmates patiently explained to us that a “pavement” is not a material but a sidewalk.  (though they also knew what “sidewalks” were from watching American telly.)   ”Corn” is a generic term for grain, while “lumber” is the rubbish you store in your attic.  

Moreover?  It is not nice to mention your pants (underwear) in public, but perfectly acceptable to announce that you need the toilet (bathroom). 

That last, in particular, was a particular challenge for us as embarrassed Americans, even when we understood that a willingness to ask perfect strangers to please point out the nearest toilet was not only necessary, but completely ordinary to everyone but ourselves. 

In other words: change was hard, but we had to get over it or else pee in our, er, trousers.  Sigh.  (Life is so brutal sometimes.)

So maybe my current life stage is not so very different from learning to use a new language, nor even so very different from potty training.  What do we tell our children when they are learning such a life-changing skill?  You need to think ahead. You need to pay attention to yourself.  Sometimes, there will be accidents, but keep trying and eventually you will succeed.  

Since our “mums” aren’t here to tell us these things anymore,  maybe posting signs for ourselves now and then would actually be a good idea.  Post-it notes on the bathroom mirror or on the computer monitor or in a daytimer?  Or maybe posting signs for the REST of the family would be in order, too.  What would your signs say?
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Creative Commons images by
Christine(bpc) (Changed Priorities);  Andrewb47 (Rising Bollards);  SeanMcTex (Humped Zebra Crossing); Ceejayoz (Princess Parking)
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Ten honeymoons in ten days, hoo boy! I’ve just written and posted the last of them for The Rocky Road of Love blog.  While the honeymoons are pretend, every one of these places really exist and really would accept visitors (that was the “rule” I made for myself when researching them.)  Anyway, here are links to the final five. (You can revisit summaries of the first five honeymoons by clicking here.)

 Tree House: Turkish Wedding Soup with Spiced Sauce

A treehouse, a freehouse,
A secret you and me house,
A high up in the leafy branches
Cozy as can be house.

A street house, a neat house,
Be sure and wipe your feet house,
Is not my kind of house at all –
Let’s go live in a tree house.

I was inspired by Shel Silverstein’s poem, then I found a real funky-looking treehouse hotel in Turkey and a romantic recipe to go with it.

Tropical Honeymoon in Aruba: Baked Bananas with Rum Sauce

Guilt drove me to give the couple a brief respite at a more typical honeymoon locale.

The “Baked Bananas with Rum Sauce” recipe seems to have been particularly popular, too.

Gee, bananas. Who knew?

To the (Australian) Lighthouse: Lighthouse Cocktails

In researching this one, I fell in love with the Straviken lighthouse in Sweden, but still felt guilty. (My life.  Guilt.)  This time I worried about sending the lovers to someplace so cold in February.  So I found a lighthouse hotel for them in Australia, instead.

There followed a lively exchange (see post’s comments!) with the Straviken’s owner about whether or not there are polar bears in Scandanavia. 

N.B.: There aren’t.

Honey, let’s play (Spanish) Caveman: Quick Vegetarian Paella

I used my own experience staying in a Spanish cave hotel near the Alhambra in Grenada for this one.

And have been yearning for Flamenco music and sangria ever since.

I also finally figured out a way to cook paella that doesn’t call for a million weird ingredients and doesn’t take all day to cook, either.

(Unlike this post, which is giving me absolute fits, probably because of all the pictures.  Wordpress codemakers have some ’splaining to do!!)

Romance on (Ice Hotels) Ice: How to Make an Ice Bowl

Sam and Harry are due home later today, but I have one last honeymoon fantasy to spin for them. This time, it’s a hotel entirely made of ice.  I wanted to make a hotel entirely out of ice too, but decided to settle for making an ice bowl instead.  It took me a while to work out the directions, finally settling for a sort of “Ice Bowls for Dummies” approach (the kind I’d prefer myself) and was quite pleased with it. 

Here’s a link to summaries of my previous five “Honeymoons”, which I’ve just updated.  Don’t expect pictures, though, because I’m done messing with them!

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Treehouse Image: Kadir’s Treehouses in Olympos, Turkey
Divi Tree Image: Manchebo Beach Resort & Spa, Aruba 
Lighthouse Image: Cape Otway Lightstation (original photo source unknown)
View of Alhambra from the Sacromonte: Photograph © John Willer and used with permission.
Ice Bowl: Creative Commons photo by EuphoriaLand

Since you asked, all the photos on this site are either my own or available for use with attribution through creative commons licensing, with the exception of the Elizabeth Dewberry/ Robert Olen Butler portrait and the photo of Anne Lamott’s book I used last week, both of which were already in such wide re-syndication I don’t know their original sources.

I realize I am being more scrupulous than most bloggers. It is also rather painful not to use all of the other glorious and oftentimes-much-more-suitable images that are widely available on the web, but I feel pretty strongly about this.

Pictures are great on a blog, though, and I’ve been putting all my blog photos (uploading them) onto Flickr.com, a free service which is very easy and fast to use. Besides saving server space, Flickr.com does all of the optimizing and resizing for you so you can dispense with photoshopping them first — another time saver! Flickr also carries a large data-base of creative commons photos which you may use — be sure to check the terms first.

To use your uploaded Flickr.com photos:

1. In your Flickr.com account, click the photo you want to use to open it. You can choose one of three sizes — be sure the size you want is open.

Right-click on your photo and choose “properties” to display the URL, (looks like “http://yourphoto.jpg”) Highlight and copy that bit, without any of the stuff after “.jpg”. Paste the URL right into your blog if you’ve got the editor open already in another window, or paste it into “notepad” or something to save it for a minute.

In your blog posting window, click where you want the image to go and EITHER use the “insert image” button or, by hand, insert the following code, changing the brackets from [ ] to < > (I can’t do it here or the web will think it’s code!) Substitute your own photo’s URL and title in place of http://yourphoto.jpg (and keeping all the other quote marks in place)
[img src="http://yourphoto.jpg" alt="Name of your photo"/]

Feeling fancy? If you’d like the text to wrap around your photo, try this code instead (remember to change all the brackets from [ ] to < >):
[p align="left"][img border="0" align="left" src="http://www.your photo.jpg" alt="Name of your photo" /]

Do you use photos in your blog? Tell us about it and post a link to your blog here so we can all admire your work in person! (Hint for newbies: leave your blog URL in the space provided when leaving a comment, or use this code in your comment text to make a link:)
[a href="http://yourblog"]Name of your blog[/a]

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry