(Image: TheAtlantic.com)

A few years ago, my son was being harrassed by another middle school student.  We knew that bullies can become even more dangerous if parents intervene, but this had become too serious to ignore, so my husband and I marched together to the principal’s office and laid it all on the line.  

Fortunately, the principal took us seriously and the bullying was immediately stopped.  Had it not been resolved, however, my husband and I would have continued to take action ourselves, up to and including moving our son to another school. 

A couple days ago, on the day of the shooting, our daughter received a minor bit of bullying herself, which the teacher apparently did nothing about.   I admit I was a little more afraid this time.  What if none of us can act against misbehavior or abuse anymore because we’re afraid we’ll be shot if we do?

Every Knox County parent received a recorded phone message from the system superintendant yesterday.  The gist was that this latest shooting was not, in fact, random — the two kids knew each other and were having some (yet unrevealed) difficulties.  Be at peace, therefore: there are no gangs, no conspiracies, and the rest of your children are safe.

Well, yes and no.

The superintendant’s words reassured me that those of us blessed with the right family resources still have a great deal of control over our own children’s safety; it does not necessarily mean, however, that this or any school had any further ability to prevent this shooting than if it *had been* a random event.   While we may be able to point to a number of risk factors, reasons, and motives in the aftermath, we can’t proactively lock up or expel every child who exhibits them, nor can we even separate ourselves or our children from every potential “thug.”

Simply:  we can’t always “see it coming.”

We need to be prudent about safety, of course, but we must also be reasonable.  I doubt that the schools can or should do very much more than they already do.  The fact is that the great majority of children are not murderers, including the great majority of children who live in the same sort of environment as Central High’s shooter.

Probably, we each need to do our best to carry on, and do the best we can, as always.  Nor is it generally very useful to make decisions or conduct our lives in an atmosphere of fear. 

If there is any single key to safe and effective educations for our children,  it probably is the parent, and guess what?  I found the article I mentioned in yesterday’s post (Who needs to be a walking bibliography like my husband, anyway, when God gave us the Internet?)    I don’t agree with every word, but felt the author had some brilliantly-new insights I’d not seen anywhere else before. 

Tales out of School: How a pushy, Type A mother stopped reading Jonathan Kozol and learned to love the public schools  (Sandra Tsing Loh, The Atlantic, March 2008)