Almostgotit.com

With every failure my reputation grows
Subscribe

Archive for the ‘saving money’

How to (almost) thrive in these bad times

October 15, 2008 By: almostgotit Category: Uncategorized, humor, jokes, friendship, economy, saving money, budgeting, stockmarket crash, money 6 Comments →

‘I’m thinking of leaving my husband,’ complained the broker’s wife. ‘All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be.’

Were you one of the lucky ones who bought stocks last Friday?  If so, maybe you can tell the rest of us what being solvent again is actually like.

We can take comfort, however.  Several of my favorite bloggy friends have been pointing out the benefits to be had in an economic downturn. 

•  Working Girl  recently got ten meals out of a four-pound chicken.

Holy Poultry, Batman! 

She also mentioned an article in the NY Times outlining the many health benefits of a recession:  people tend to eat less fast food and more home-cooked meals, get more exercise, spend more time with their families, and have far less heart disease.

•  The Career Encourager pointed out an article in Newsweek about the opportunities the U.S. now has to correct some bad economic habits .  She also recommends  Your Money or Your Life,  a book that she says

steers clear of the “frugality” mindset (which unfortunately comes across as cheap and stingy all too often) and instead presented a philosophy of “enoughness” as a saner practice for individuals, communities and nations.   It’s a recipe for living a sound, peaceful life based on a strong foundation. 

•  Finally, it’s Korrektiv to the rescue, proving definitively that the best investment advice of all is to drink heavily and recycle.

18848894_400×400.jpg

My delightfully irreverent friend at Punk Rock HR , however,  takes issue with Jeffrey Strain’s article, Ten (more) Reasons You’re Not Rich.  To paraphrase:

It’s because we have no money, stupid!

While I agree with Laurie’s punky assessment that lower- and middle- class paychecks are demonstrably losing their buying power, I also must agree with Strain.   While many of us are indeed losing financial ground,  most of us are also failing to maximize what we’ve got. 

We’ve all read about the minimum -wage -janitor -who -dies -leaving -millions -of -dollars -under -his -mattress.  It can be done. 

It’s just that, for the most part, no one wants to do it.

I’m still amazed to think what my husband and I lived on in an expensive big city while he was in grad school.    We had mice everywhere, and cockroaches everywhere we didn’t have mice.  There was no floor in our bathroom, and no wall in part of our kitchen.  We couldn’t afford fresh vegetables, or a television, or furniture, or even subway fare (we’d walk for miles, instead.)  But we had “enough.”  We also had some terrific friends with whom to share our homemade “Moosewood Cookbook” food, including one who lent us a shockingly-pink couch. My husband finally built us a bed, too.

Mostly on account of the cockroaches.

I will treasure those years forever.

Had I known, then, what we’d be living on in 2008,  while *still* struggling to pay all our bills, I’d have been appalled. 

Why then aren’t the Almostgotits ”rich?”  Because we eat out now.   We still only have one car, but we often drive it instead of taking a bus or walking, now.  We buy airplane tickets so we can visit our parents sometimes.  We eat salads.  And desserts!  We now use a credit card.  We no longer buy all our clothes at thrift stores.  We buy wine, and good coffee.  We even own our own couch — two of them, in fact. 

We are definitely fatter, too.


Image

And are we substantially better off for all the money we spend now?  Not really.  We’ve simply upgraded our definition of “enough” so that it now requires five or six times as much money as it once did to pay for it.

Almostgotit says: drink heavily, and recycle.  But do it with good friends around you, and you might end up even richer than you were before.   

What says you?

—-

Humor for the Newly-Bankrupt:

More stock market jokes

Craig Ferguson and Tim Meadows on the Economy Meltdown 

Free Government Publication: 66 ways to save money (this one is NOT a joke)

Ten great reasons to unplug your dryer and use a clothesline instead

October 10, 2008 By: almostgotit Category: Uncategorized, economy, saving money, Obama, laundry, clotheslines, household spending, reducing spending, ecology, energy saving 7 Comments →

project-laundry-list.JPG

My “Writing Humor” class in Iowa bonded deeply with each other last summer.  There’s something about writing, laughing, and almost drowning together that will do that to people, I suppose.

One of my classmates was a banjo-playing lawyer named Sheila Simon, who published an article promoting the use of clotheslines in the Chicago Tribune not long after our stint together in Iowa City.  Here’s what Sheila and I have both discovered about hanging up our laundry:

  1. Save a hundred dollars on your electric bill every month.
  2. Keep your house cooler in the summer, and save on your AC bill, too.
  3. Hanging laundry takes much less time than you think.
  4. Line-dried laundry smells wonderful.
  5. You paid for that yard and all that landscaping, so why not enjoy it?
  6. Get to know your neighbors, too.
  7. Help humidify your house in the winter.
  8. Join virtually every other modern country on the planet.
  9. Get your daily ration of Vitamin “D.”
  10. You can still use your clothes dryer for emergencies.

A little more about humble Sheila.  We particularly enjoyed a story she shared about her father driving the entire family to MacDonalds, where he gravely recited their lengthy take-out order…  to a concrete traffic post. 

Eventually, we learned that Sheila’s family is from Illinois.  Later still, we learned that the take-out order had been delivered in the familiar, sonorous voice of a certain former Illinois legislator and presidential candidate. 

Yeah, THAT Simon.

Nor did Sheila tell us that she was a politician herself, having just completed a (sadly unsuccessful) run for Carbondale mayor last Spring – with a little help from another Illinois senator, last name of “Obama.”

———

More about clotheslines:

———

Cross posted at Blogher.com

Handling the elephants

September 16, 2008 By: almostgotit Category: Uncategorized, working, finances, economizing, saving money, budgeting, unemployment, gas prices 7 Comments →

Where will we put the elephants?
My 12 year old made this collage. It is captioned thus: “If we cut down the forests, where will we put the elephants?”

Today I’m trying to organize a lot of elephants myself.  After a weekend with gas hitting $5 a gallon, followed by yesterday’s stock market crash, it occurs to me that I need to do a better job at saving money *and* retaining the few clients I currently have.  Nor is feeling like a limp noodle for a week or so any excuse (though yes, thank you, I’m feeling much better.)

So:  I started off the morning with several car-less errands to save gas*and* get my sloggy old elephant blood going.  Trotted to the vet for some flea meds, then to the drug store, then to the housewares outlet store, and finally to the market for dinner makings.  The chicken from the market went into the crockpot when I got home, and that’s to save some money. 

Cutting up and pulling the skin off a dead chicken — eww.  I’d forgotten about that part of cooking.   Usually I just buy skinless chicken breasts, and *that’s* when I actually cook anymore.  Why aren’t we all vegetarians, again? 

And for this afternoon:  phone calls, emails, and hunkering down with my word processor. 

How about you?  How are you responding to the economic news of late?

 

How to (almost) gracefully cancel an expensive family vacation when you’re tired and also a little bit broke

July 22, 2008 By: almostgotit Category: Uncategorized, humor, jobless, recession, vacation, family, finances, economizing, stayvacation, email, saving money 6 Comments →

From: The Almostgotits
Sent: Sun 7/20/2008
Subject: Tunisia plans

Dear Everyone,
After long and careful thought, we are sad to tell you that we will not be travelling to Africa next week for the traditional Tunisian wedding of our nephew after all. Mr. Almostgotit will still be there to represent our family, however, and hopes to change the return portion of his ticket so that he can stay for the final event, too (my mistake, getting the dates wrong when I bought the tickets .) We are planning another trip west to see you all in the near future, though.
Warmest wishes to all, The Almostgotits

From: Everyone
Sent: Sun, 20 Jul 2008
Subject: RE: Tunisia plans

Dear Almostgotits,
- We hope everything is OK. - We were so looking forward to the time together. - Will you get a refund?  - We are sure your family knows best. - We hope it’s not anything we did.  - 11 yr old Cousin Q will be devastated. I guess there isn’t a way that 12 yr old could fly over with us and return with her father?
Love, Everyone

From: The Almostgotits
Sent: Sun, 20 Jul 2008
Subject: RE: Tunisia plans

Dear Everyone,
We’re sad, too. But going to Tunisia this particular summer was a big stretch to begin with, even if everything had gone according to plan. And things haven’t gone according to plan . ..<<details, more details>>. . . Sorry again re 12 yr old, but, we’ve already cancelled her ticket too — that one pays for the new mattress. :)
Love, The Almostgotits

From: Everyone
Sent: Mon, 21 Jul 2008
Subject: RE: Tunisia plans

Dear Almostgotits,
We had a restless night. We’re a bit concerned. We want to reach out to help, but we also don’t want to intrude . . . we could pay for the three of you to go to Tunisia if you could.  If you need to stay home because of work, we could pay for 12 yr old and an adult to fly with her to Cincinnati to connect with us . . . You can simply tell us “no” if you don’t feel comfortable.  You have always been so generous to us when we come to visit and we are thankful to have such a good family.
Love, Everyone

From: The Almostgotits
Sent: Mon, 21 Jul 2008
Subject: RE: Tunisia plans

Dear Everyone,
What a kind and loving offer. Thank you so much. If there weren’t so many good reasons piling up to change our minds, we wouldn’t have changed them (as I’ve told the groom separately, our heads finally had to prevail over our hearts, though our hearts are still very much his — and yours.) We want to be sure you all know we love you, and that we are not in any distress (financial or otherwise)  But we must decline your offer, while fully accepting the great love and generosity with which it was offered. What dears you are. (Or elk, if you prefer!!)

With large hugs, The Almostgotit Mooses

From: Ms. Almostgotit
Sent: Mon, 21 Jul 2008
Subject: RE: Tunisia plans

You better tell them the rest, honey. They’re your family.

From: Mr. Almostgotit
Sent: Mon, 21 Jul 2008
Subject: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Tunisia

After still more thought, I (Mr. A) have decided to call off my Paris-Tunisia trip as well, and will stay here with my family.  I really wanted to be with you all for this wonderful celebration, and I’m very sorry to miss it.  We are doing well–just a little frayed around the edges, and being here, we decided, is where we need to be right now.  We love you all and are going to be thinking about you all in Kasr al-Halal drinking tea with mint and strong coffee.  Take lots of pictures for us!  See you at Christmas.

Love, Mr. Almostgotit