Almostgotit.com

Before NASA engineers could use duct tape and a sock to improvise an emergency air filter for the crew of Apollo 13, they had to have a goal in mind.

But they also had first to know the basic properties of both duct tape and socks.  E.G:

Today’s Problem: tiny bathroom, two messy cats, lack of child’s interest in litter box clean-up. Cat litter all over the floor.  GROSS.

Solution using what we have on hand: one unused bathtub and one rubber door mat.  

Final verdict: Not at all elegant, but it works.

Yesterday I suggested that playing around with stuff won’t solve any specific problems, but that’s not what babies or toddlers are concerned about when they bang and suck on things, carry them around, or drop them off the edge of their high chairs. They aren’t solving any specific problems, but they are conducting valid scientific research all the same.

Sometimes problem-solving is the way to go, and sometimes playing is.

I’ve been playing. In the past few weeks, I’ve rearranged nearly every room in our house. I’ve been cleaning and getting rid of as many things as I can, and everything else I’ve either turned around, turned over, or turned into something else.

Yesterday’s problem: tiny bedroom without enough wall space

Solution: turn bed diagonally and fill corner with thrift-store screen that has been taking up space elsewhere.  And can you find the cat in this picture?

I’ve been thinking of it as an intensive audit, a re-nesting, a way of getting traction.  It’s very weird, and I don’t know where I’m going with any of this, but it seems important so I’ve decided to stick with it for the time being.

Interesting and possibly pointless things to do with excess firewood and old Christmas lights…

Genuine Rhodesian FridgeSnack, age 2 yrs. Excellent time management tool: esp. adept at waking family at Good-God-O’clock on freezing Feb. Monday mornings with loud vomiting sounds, forcing prompt action as well as hurried making of fires and coffee. 

Effective: collects & contains all fleas within 5 mile radius, 12 mos/yr, further assuring early am wakefulness as family has been kept alert all night due to great deal of loud scratching.

Helpful: Will clean out your litter boxes, sort through your garbage, and assist in controlling your caloric intake by stealing and eating the egg breakfast you didn’t need this morning, anyway. 

Efficient: once family is thoroughly activated at Good-God-O’Thirty, will then rest up for the rest of the day to better serve again the next morning.

Because I only have a very boring To Do List today, I thought I’d borrow a more interesting one from my daughter who tends to write and post such things on her bedroom door. 

Ten Useless Things To Do

1.  Paint your room black.  Say that this is so you can hide from Them more easily.  Refuse to further discuss the matter.

2.  Decide to speak in German all day.  Extra points if you don’t actually know German.

3.  Call a real estate agent and see if you can have a house delivered to you that evening.  When he/she refuses, complain that if you can do it with pizza, you should be able to get houses that way too.

4.  Sign your name as “Pooh Bear IV” on your homework from now on.

5.  Tell your teacher that you are going to be a caveman when you grow up and therefore do not need to learn math.

6.  Declare a new holiday.  Name it after yourself.

7.  Turn the thermostat down low and pour a few gallons of water on the floor.  Attach metal blades to your sneakers with duct tape.  See if you can ice-skate.

8.  Say your bed sprained its ankle.  Sleep on the floor for a couple of weeks.

9.  Read all the cookbooks you can find.  See if any of them have a recipe for a knuckle sandwich.

10.  Call 911.  Explain that you are bored, and ask if you could go for a ride in one of the fire trucks.

I’ve had a very small week.

I’ve accomplished very small things, and for the most part stayed in a very small space to accomplish them — it’s been too cold to venture very far beyond the fireplace (I’ve not yet plugged in the space heater in my office).

Last weekend, I met people who ran prestigious small colleges and national museums, won Nobel Prizes, and discovered Hepatitis B viruses.

In their spare time, probably.

Meanwhile, I managed to replace the bathroom light bulb yesterday – yeah, me!

I was determined to get some work done yesterday, and set my list on the dining room table with happy face stickers *and* a clock next to it so I could keep track of the time and not waste it like I do so many days. I had guessed how much time each ask would take, and left lots of extra time at the end, too.

Plus also, did I mention I had Happy Face Stickers?

Things didn’t go exactly as I planned, however.

I couldn’t work in a cold house, and couldn’t just “get more firewood” either, because the wheelbarrow had to be emptied of other stuff first, plus there was a giant dead branch in the side yard which had to be dragged to the curb before I could get the wheelbarrow through anyway.

Plus also the dog wanted to play.

But I got the wood rack filled eventually, and kept the fire going all day too, which made the cat happy (see if you can find him in the Kitty Sauna).

I was supposed to finish some website stuff, but had forgotten to find some of the art I needed.  Then my email with art attached failed to “send,” so I had to start over. Plus also the warm- cozy- living- room- computer was dead, so I had to use the freezing- cold- office- computer instead, which meant I kept sneaking back to the living room to get warmed up again.

Then I messed up my daughter’s plans. I took a shower but forgot both my makeup and the stuff for my hair that keeps me from looking like a dandelion, even though I had to give a neighborhood presentation later that evening.

I didn’t even get to the laundry.

I was supposed to update the neighborhood’s database, too, using a spreadsheet one of the reps had LABORIOUSLY updated, BY HAND, and couldn’t find the damn thing. 

Anywhere. 

Naturally, there are no other copies either.

So I had to practically clean the whole house instead, looking for it.

This morning I am starting over again. I also decided to reward my yesterday-self a lot of posthumous Happy Face Stickers, for all the things I didn’t plan yesterday but got done anyway.

I still don’t have any idea where that spreadsheet is, but I do now have a clean(ish) house! 

Yeah me, again! 

I’m beginning to guess that this is probably about as good as it gets.