Almostgotit.com

So, kids are mostly raised & I've just gone back to work…
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Archive for the ‘TITSNOB’

Almost the worst blogger ever

November 11, 2009 By: almostgotit Category: TITSNOB, Uncategorized, parenthood, parenting, parenting teens, volunteer, volunteering 4 Comments →

Almostgotit is going to get booted off BlogHer if she doesn’t shape up.  She understands this.

Thing is, how many posts can a person write about her kid getting hit by a car while getting off a school bus?  And how reporters and kid safety organizations suddenly want to make the Almostgotits their poster family for bus safety, and how can the Almostgotits say no when people HAVE to listen to them? 

Because, you know, OUR KID got HIT.  By a CAR.  While GETTING OFF A SCHOOL BUS.

Oh, blogging.  It’s always about obsessing over something, or promoting a book you wrote, or telling your whole boring life story which inevitably involves other people who may not want to get mentioned in your blog even if they deserve it, like the creepy Jason Mosier from Knoxville who stays up all night posting comments about children being hit by cars as they get off school busses and how natural selection should be allowed to take its course…

Not that I would ever mention that.

Anyway, my apologies to all my friends in blogdom who haven’t heard from me in a while… not so much on this blog, but on your own.  Cause I know how much it matters, Being Heard. 

Meanwhile, we’ve started woodstove season.  Pulled out the crockpot for warm, autumnal meals.  Become fascinated with stacking rock walls around new garden beds, and making hypertufa planters for next spring’s garden.  Been trying out a new volunteer gig, so long as the unemployment rate is 10.2% and still rising.  And on that subject, been clearing the air with some new ears about some old business

Had a birthday, too: 29 AGAIN!

My 13-yr-old daughter assures me that there’s a strong association between an increasing number of birthdays and longevity, though, so at least there’s that!

Foiled again

July 26, 2009 By: almostgotit Category: TITSNOB, unemployed 6 Comments →

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a Master’s Degree in “Human Movement & Leisure Studies.”

Actually, I have no idea what “Human Movement & Leisure Studies” even IS, nor what it has to do with managing websites and writing stories; however, most other people don’t know what “English” is either, so fair’s fair.

And that’s absolutely as snotty as I’m going to GET on the matter, too, except perhaps to add a tiny little observatory note that The Institution That Shall Not Be Named (TITSNOB, if you sort of squint) clearly maintains its eccentric obsession with Master’s Degrees, no matter how irrelevent.

One might ask why I was so silly as to go tilting at the TITSNOB windmill again in the first place, but one would be handed an ice cream and told to go sit in a corner and be quiet if one did.

I know. I KNOW.

See, there were all of these complicated REASONS, and it was too tempting to see if TITSNOB really again would be so silly itself, especially after it had promised me a job yet again, and this time in WRITING.

Yes, complicated and silly all mixed up together in a nasty soup that doesn’t even GO with ice cream, so let’s just dump TITSNOB on its big fat old stupid head, shall we, and go dig into a big tub of Moosetracks instead!

(Don’t tell my WW leader though, ‘kay?)

The one where Almostgotit blogs like Penelope Trunk

October 29, 2008 By: almostgotit Category: TITSNOB, Uncategorized, failure, family, job relocation, job search, rejection, relocation 12 Comments →

My husband and I finally had an argument over this whole job thing last night… sort of remarkable, really, that it took us this long.

We are supposed to make our final decision about the new job today, and The Mid-Level Guy (T.M.L.G.) was supposed to get back to us yesterday morning with his counter-offer.

By 9 pm. last night we’d not heard a word, and began making plans about how to handle his silence.  Tensions were a wee bit high.

We finally got T.M.L.G’s email at about 11 pm… no, he hadn’t heard yet from his superiors with the money part, but hey, before? When he said pretty dismissively that he couldn’t do anything for The Wife? Turns out maybe he could get Almostgotit a very low level, very poorly paid secretarial job in his own Development office after all, which could be a great entree into Development in general, which we all know is a growing and lucrative field.

Yes I do know, says I, to Mr. Almostgotit. And I’m trying very hard to appreciate his efforts.

But might I point out,  says I additionally, That it’s the other city’s highest level Development/Advancement people (among others) who are calling me directly, on the phone (not just sending emails via my husband) and talking to me about writing and PR jobs in Development — instead of ignoring my updated resume altogether and offering an entry-level clerical job instead, citing my frackingorganizational skills?!?”

All else being truly equal, we both would rather stay in Tennessee, but

No one will ever just hand you a job, says Mr. A. You’ve got to try harder, or get another degree.

Maybe, counters I. But lots of people, especially those not occupying your own particular little part of the world, would say instead that the best way to get jobs is though connections, And how crazy am I to turn my back on this only time, ever, that so many people are going to bat for me, in the other city, right now??

(Besides, I add, much later. Besides. How can you say I haven’t tried??)

The man here is trying, says Mr. A. We should consider his offer. He’s right about it being an entree…

No, says I. If I wanted that kind of job, I could get one on my own. There are a million of them at The Institution that Shall not Be Named ( TITSNOB. *) Thank T.M.L.G for me, of course, but I am a terrible, terrible secretary. And I know exactly the job he’s talking about… I used to bring my paperwork to that person, buried in a basement office in a sea of filing cabinets and paperwork. That’s all she did. I’d die there. I’d DIE.

If you could get one of those jobs on your own, why haven’t you, says Mr. A.

Because I haven’t applied for any of those jobs, says I, a wee bit too loudly. And if I did want to be a secretary, I’d certainly not be one at TITSNOB, as the standard pay elsewhere in Knoxville is almost twice as much. I know, because I’ve looked into it, several times.

If we want to stay here, we need to find out more about the job, at least, says Mr. A.  Do you even KNOW what you want?

Some, says I, voice stupid and wobbly.  I know some of what I want.  And I know I don’t want to be a secretary.

This isn’t just any secretarial job, says Mr. A., but could lead to higher things…

No it won’t,  says I. It won’t. Name one secretary at TITSNOB who has ever gone on to other things, beyond more responsible secretarial jobs? Besides, there is so much paperwork at that place that I’d never have time for anything else. The world needs paperwork people, TITSNOB needs more than most, and some people are satisfied being paperwork people.  Many paperwork people are delightful, but for me those jobs are a DISASTER. 

Slight rolling of the eyes from Mr. A.

I’m not just being dramatic, or snotty, says I.   I’ve failed in four clerical jobs, remember, and grown past them in any case? I keep wanting to push the envelope. I find the work-arounds that work better. I get in trouble in clerical jobs. I’m one of those people that OTHER job ads ask for: “A self-starter,” and that is exactly what TITSNOB does not want in its secretaries. I know that better than anyone else — remember?!?

We both have very mixed feelings, and clearly we are both a little whacky. But how I would love to thumb my nose at TITSNOB and ride the hell out of town without looking back. And how delicious it would be for everyone here to know that the deciding factor in our leaving was the great job someone else just gave to his wife — the formerly-known-pain-in-the-butt we call ”Almostgotit.”

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*Re TITSNOB:  No, the acronym doesn’t really work, but that’s okay because TITSNOB doesn’t really work either.

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** Re Penelope Trunk:  This post isn’t, strictly, like one of Penelope Trunk’s, because (a) I got my husband’s permission to talk about our argument and (b) I did not mention anyone’s genitalia, shaved or otherwise.

Friday Favorite: Stolen Pumpkin Bread Recipe

September 12, 2008 By: almostgotit Category: Friday Favorite, TITSNOB, The Institution that Shall Not be Named, Uncategorized, autumn recipe, humor, pumpkin, pumpkin bread, recipes 2 Comments →

It may still be in the mid-nineties out there, but according to farmer’s markets all around Knoxville it is officially Autumn.   The first home football game this weekend clinches it.

Fall means pumpkins, those round bundles of love that I have a positive fetish for.  The plumper and rounder the better.  Probably some latent lesbianism on my part, or maybe they just remind me of sweet little babies, so fat and yummy…

Anyhoo, for your weekend pleasure, I have snagged a top-secret recipe from none other than The Institute that Shall Not be Named (TITSNOB)

And heavens, it’s yummy, too.

TITSNOB Pumpkin Bread

  • 1 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 can (1 lb can) mashed pumpkin
  • 1 3/4 cups flour
  • 3/4 tsp. baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/3 tsp salt
  • 2/3 tsp cloves
  • 2/3 tsp nutmeg
  • 2/3 tsp allspice
  • 3/4 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla flavoring
  • 1/3 cup water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease and flour two loaf pans.  Mix together sugar, oil, pumpkin and eggs until well blended.

Add all dry ingredients to pumpkin mixture and blend thoroughly.  Add vanilla and water, mixing until all ingredients are well blended.  Pour into prepared pans.

Bake at 35o degrees for one hour.  Remove from oven and place on cooling racks for 1o minutes.  Carefully remove loaves from pans and allow to cool before slicing.

TITSNOB actually sells these.  So let’s pretend this is like that  Neiman-Marcus Cookie Recipe , and that it cost me, like, several jobs to get my hands on it, and thus as my bitter revenge I’m now passing it on to as many people as I can. 

Go bake pumpkin bread.  That’ll show em!